Having just devoured the February issue of Elle, I’ve got to be honest, I’m deeply unsettled by one particular aspect of the spring fashion forecast: a revival of ‘70s apparel. Now, if you are anything like me, then this revelation has simultaneously triggered feelings of fear and confusion. Why, you ask? Why would the powers that be instigate, let alone allow, such a revival to occur? High-wasted bell-bottoms (like the Hudson jeans pictured below), peasant blouses and fluorescent accessories belong amongst the racks of a kitschy vintage clothing store, not on the modern day streets of metropolitan cities like Los Angeles, New York or (heaven forbid) Philadelphia. Having said this, I am issuing a formal warning to those Penn hipsters who intend to embrace this most troubling trend: avoid puddles (you’ll soak your bell-bottoms), avoid flash bulbs (most peasant blouses are deceptively sheer) and, most importantly, avoid me.